Where the Secrets Lie
by Dahnee
Summary: Rikku's been tormented by nightmares for quite a while now... but what happens when the nightmare becomes more? Rated for some crude humor, later chapters, and language. Aurikku, Gippalai.
1. Playing Pranks and Passing Out

"_Why did you have to leave me? Why didn't you tell me your secret? I thought you loved me. . ."_

_She stood on the edge of the pier, gazing down into the turbulent black waters. They seemed so menacing, the way they grabbed at the pier, glittering with the pale moonlight, threatening to pull her down. Down, down to where the secrets lie. The ocean floor, the darkness. A place where she could drift from all memory. A place where she could cease to exist._ _Someplace where she would no longer be tormented by her memories, by her broken heart, by anything. The urge to fall, to dive into the black waves compelled her, delicate feet leading her closer to the edge. Would she have the strength to jump? To fill her lungs with the darkness and sink into the depths where the secrets lie? Could she do it? Before she could search for the answer to that question, the icy cold sensation of the liquid brushed her ankles, her knees, her shoulders and neck. Before she could scream, before she even knew what happened, the menacing black waters swallowed her up. The darkness invaded her body and she drifted to the ocean floor. Down to where the secrets lie._

_-_

She awoke with a start, thrashing around in the comfort of her bed, gasping for air, unaware that the darkness was not the black water, but the cool silk of her blankets. A sharp kick to her left yanked the sheets from off her face and light filtered into emerald green eyes, burning like salt in an open wound. A moan of discomfort slipped past her lips as realization stirred in her mind. She was not at a pier, and she wasn't drowning. She was in her familiar bed, with her snugly pink pillows and silky black blankets. It was just a nightmare. One of many that she'd been having lately. Nothing too special, not even enough to earn a second thought as she rolled, literally, out of bed and lay sprawled on the floor. Morning was not a good time for her.

She yawned, barely moving and wondering how much more sleep she could fit in before being stepped on by her roommates. A loud, window-rattling snore emanated from the lump of blankets atop the bed next to her and she had to suppress an oncoming fit of giggles. It was amazing that she managed to get to sleep at all while listening to _that_. Thinking over her options again, she decided to get up, make some super strong black coffee and get first use of the bathroom for once. Reluctantly, she got up from her not-so-comfortable perch on the floor and threw her blankets back on her already messy as heck bed. She looked at the other two beds, it didn't look like they'd be getting up too soon, and she wondered exactly how early it was.

She wiped the sleep from her eyes as she punched the button on the coffee maker, the little red light appeared next to it as she made her way to the bathroom. With heavy arms, she pulled the door open and stepped inside, making sure to lock it upon closing it again. She didn't want a repeat of the incident last week. A shudder rippled down her back as she raked open the shower curtain, which was delightfully decorated with duckies. She fiddled with the water temperature until it was to her liking and then looked in the mirror. Did she always look that bad when she work up?

He normally soft, tame blonde locks stuck out in all directions, frizzy and stringy looking. Her face, normally fresh and clean looking was pale and blotchy from another rough night. Not to mention what she was wearing. Normally she never cared about what she put on before falling asleep, it's not like anyone would ever see her like this. Though she was beginning to wonder if she was intoxicated when she chose her pajamas last night. She had on a white tank top that was so big it was showing off more skin than it was covering and a pair of vivid, bright, neon green shorts that were just a smidgen too tight. She shook her head, quickly stripped off the clothes, and stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain back.

The scalding hot water felt good on her bruised and battered skin and also woke her up quite decently, though not as well as coffee. She just stood there, letting the steaming water burn her skin and turn it a vibrant shade of pink. She grabbed her lilac scented shampoo from the shelves that hung on the side of the tiled shower wall and squeezed it into the palm of her hand. She lathered up her blonde locks and began making foolish hairstyles. From severe spikes sticking out in every direction to a cousin It reminiscent style. She giggled at her own silliness as she washed the shampoo out and reached to grab her favorite orange loofah. She poured lilac scented soap onto the sponge-type thing and scrubbed off the dirt, dead skin, and sleep from her body. Showers were always so rejuvenating and so much fun to play in. After rinsing herself, she turned down the water temperature to cool off a bit so she wouldn't freeze to death when getting out of the shower. She reached for her black and pink robe after turning off the water and cast it over her shoulders, tying the sash around her waist loosely.

As the bathroom door opened, a cloud of steam pushed its way out and the scent of strong coffee greeted her nostrils. She vaguely noted that neither of her roommates were awake yet as she made her way to the kitchen, grabbing her coffee mug from the cupboard and pouring herself a cup. She inhaled the delightful smell before bringing to mug to her lips and drinking deeply, paying no heed to the burning of her esophagus. She would rather burn her guts to death than suffer through a cup of cold or even medium-heated coffee. It was good only scorching hot and black. She looked down into the mug, the black liquid bringing back traces of her nightmare, though she shook them away almost as soon as they appeared. As the coffee sizzled and burned in her stomach, she felt much more awake than she'd ever been at...

6 A.M. ! Her eyes almost popped out of her sockets when she saw the clock. No wonder her roommates weren't up yet. Heck, who ever wakes up before 6? She grumbled to herself. What the hell what she going to do for the next two hours? She racked her brain until an idea finally popped up. She could get back at Yuna and Paine for last week! An evil giggle escaped her as she tiptoed up the stairs to get dressed.

-

Finished with all her little deeds, she was just about to go back down stairs and wait for them to wake up when she saw Paine's eyelids begin to flutter. Unprepared, she dove for the first hiding place she could think of. It just so happened to be under her bed. She was unable to go without watching, so she peeped out from beneath a black skull-decorated dust ruffle. Paine's bare feet touched the ground right in front of her face and she held her nose in a joking manner. She watched as her eldest roommate wandered down the stairs, somehow managing to slip out from under her bed and follow without being noticed by either of her roommates. Paine walked into the bathroom and Rikku dove beneath the stairs. An enraged scream echoed from behind the wooden door and she clapped her hand to her mouth, trying to resist the urge to burst out laughing. The door swung open violently on its hinges. Paine's face was twisted into an expression of anger that would have stopped most dead in their tracks, though with the clown-like make-up Rikku had put on her, it was quite comical.

The scream awoke Yuna, who bolted upright in her bed thinking someone was hurt. However, something was wrong... her soft white blankets were wet! She looked down at her comforter and found it soaked and yellow tinted. She gasped as Paine stormed up the stairs and raided Rikku's bed. She saw Yuna, her face red as an apple and her bed.

"Ummm.. Have a wet dream there, Yuna?" Paine giggled, though not as hard as Yuna did when she saw her face. After their laughter subsided at each others predicament, a look of understanding passed between them. They knew who to blame. And she was curled up on her side under the stairs laughing so hard that it didn't even make a sound. The two ran down the stairs and snooped around, though unable to find her.

"Rikku, if you come out now, we'll go easy on you!" Yuna called out, whirling around, running from place to place trying to find her cousin. The girl could barely move she was laughing so hard, let alone come out from her hiding place. However, Rikku did not think out her plan well enough, the stairs could only conceal so much. During her violent fit of giggles, she had rolled out a bit so that her feet stuck out from almost any angle on the room. It didn't take Yuna long to find her. The girl was starting to think her roommates would never find her and at that exact moment she was pounced upon by a clown-faced Paine and an enraged bed wetter. 20 horrible fingers tickled her sides, neck, and back until she screamed for mercy.

"Say you're sorry, Rikku, or you won't live to see another day." The clown-faced Paine threatened, though it was hard for the girl to catch her breath and stop laughing. She simply lay on the dirty dusty floor under the stairs where no one dared to clean, her chest heaving and her vision swimming from lack of oxygen.

She blinked away the tears that had formed due to her laughter, but her vision did not clear. Everything was so blurry, abnormally blurry and dark. Yuna and Paine who were once sitting right beside her could no longer be seen. She was starting to panic, what was happening? She tried to move, only to find that her limbs felt as if they were made of stone. The ground that she felt beneath her was starting to disappear, the feeling of falling aroused within her. She wanted to scream but her voice could not be found. The blackness, it was everywhere, she was drowning, sinking into the darkness.

"_Come, Rikku. Come down into the water, down into the darkness. Down, down to where the secrets lie."_

The voice echoed around her, seeming to come from every direction. It was neither female nor male, but oddly distorted. It teased her, it compelled her, it resisted her. Everything at once, making her head spin. The voice was the darkness, it was the water, it was her. And then that cold icy water swallowing her up again. She had no choice. She had to go down. Down to where the secrets lie...


	2. An old Acquaintance

**Author's Note:** Yeah, yeah. I know I didn't include a disclaimer, but hey. If I owned anything of FFX-2, d'you think I'd be writing this? x3 Anyways, I just wanted to thank my darling Kristenems for being all rubbery for bouncing off ideas and stuff. I love ya, darling!

* * *

"_I wish I could've known sooner."_

_How much longer until the end? How much farther will she fall before she reaches the bottom? Will she make it all the way down, down to where the secrets lie? There is only one way to find out. The darkness will choose her fate. Now that she's come this far, it's all or nothing. The secrets or death. It wasn't her choice anymore, all she could do was drift slowly towards the place that haunted her dreams. Down. Never-ending. Sinking, oh so slowly. Down, down to where the secrets lie._

-

She was not granted movement nor a voice. She was simply falling, the black waters surrounding her, testing her. She wanted this insanity to end, she wanted to know exactly where the hell she was going, what was happening. Was this reality? Had everything before this been the dream? And what was the place that loomed so close in the darkness, the place she had been dreaming of for weeks on end. The darkness was driving her crazy, she couldn't see a thing, but then again she wasn't really sure if she wanted to. If there was something out there, she'd rather be blissfully unaware of its presence. Her mind was racing through possible outcomes or causes of this anomaly, but she could find none reasonable enough. Yet, would sensibility even matter? She was floating down through impeccably dark waters that she wasn't even sure really existed. She'd lost all control of all her senses. She could see nothing but the blackness, could feel nothing other than a cold numbness, couldn't move and couldn't hear. It was all too creepy to be real. She'd have given anything just for a small reassurance that she could function.

And then a familiar sensation brushed against her back. The feeling of sand. But it was not the welcoming warmth of a beach on a sunny day, it was cold as ice. She didn't care that it burned and hurt, she didn't care that she landed right on a mondo bruise Paine had given her. She didn't even pay heed to the fact that the pangs of severe hurt flooded through her body. All she cared about was that she could see and hear and feel and move again! With her quick thief-like reflexes, she stood up and whirled around, sadly finding herself unarmed. Whatever kind of hell she had just fallen into didn't seem like a place that you'd wanna be without anything to protect yourself with.

The scenery she was greeted with, though gloomy and bleak, was welcomed vehemently. It was much preferred to the perpetual blackness. The distance was dark and foreboding, lined with shapes that would have given the devil himself goose bumps, and Rikku was just a few steps away from fleeing in panic. But what would that accomplish? She began to wonder if she had a purpose here, if there was a reason for her to be in this place. Well she'd find out later, 'cause that big black moving thing to her left was starting to get a little bit bigger and a lot bit closer. She wasn't going to stick around to see if it'd be named Fluffy or Killer. With a quick turn on her heel, she bolted off in the opposite direction.

She kept her eyes focused on the distance, which never seemed to get nearer. She thought that maybe if she ran fast enough, she could reach those shapes and maybe find a way out. Maybe, just maybe. However, it didn't take long for her to realize that it wasn't going work that way. Curious, she peeked over her shoulder and saw that the big black thing was moving way faster than she could ever hope to match. She was screwed, done for, toast. Or at least until she saw someone she knew all too well just a few feet away.

Well, wouldn't you know it. Mr. No-Heart would just happen to be in a place like this. Standing there with that familiar little smirk and those ridiculous sunglasses. Though now was not a time for her pathetic opinions. Just seeing him there brought a smile to her face and she scampered behind him, clinging to his warm red coat. Warm? Wait a second, Mr. Legendary Guardian, King of all the stiff, cold-hearted meanies... radiating warmth! And wasn't he supposed to be floating around in the Farplane? This made no sense... but had anything made any sense since she tumbled into this pit? Oh well, he was here, he had a big sword. He'd protect her, just like he always did.

"Um, hi?" She squeaked, standing up on her tiptoes and resting her chin on his so very high shoulder. Fluffy just kept coming nearer and nearer. She wasn't so afraid now that she had a big bad man with a big bad sword to hide behind. A deep, rumbling chuckle escaped him and he shook his head in the way he always did whenever she did something stupid. Which seemed to happen quite often. "Mind getting rid of Fluffy, there?" She asked, her voice still rather squeaky.

"Fluffy?" He asked, mildly amused, though Rikku knew he didn't need an explanation. She offered as good of an innocent grin as she could muster and pointed to the even closer blob. "As you wish, Princess." With that, he took off towards the black chunk of Jell-O, katana drawn. She winced, she hated it when he called her that. If anyone could be the least princess-like it was probably her. She watched as Auron sliced the Jell-O to pieces and came wandering back, looking as if he had hardly done anything. She was passed the point of wondering what the hell was going on, and was glad to see him.

"So, um, Auron.. What're you doing here?" She asked, hoping to get an answer from him, unlike usual. He stood maybe three feet away from her, and as he took a step forward, she was overcome with an inexplicable bout of dizziness. She crashed down onto her knees as everything went spinning into a muddling mixture of grays. Before falling to sweet, sweet unconsciousness she heard a very distinct voice in her hazy mind.

"Dammit Rikku. You're in farther than I thought." She didn't have time to ponder these words as everything faded to blackness. A sick, familiar darkness that she wanted to fight but had no strength to. Shit.

-

She came to who knows how many hours later, greeted with more darkness. Damn it all. She made a mental note to herself that when and if she ever got back home that she was replacing everything black she owned with yellow and other such bright mind numbing colors. Oh, and look now. Mr. Stick-Up-His-Butt was nowhere to be found. She snorted and gazed around the new area. It seemed to be a cave of some sorts. Really dark and really creepy. Even worse than the sandy place where she saw Auron. As she was about to stand up and scream at the top of her lungs for some trace of normality, something glittered at her side. Shiny things always attracted her attention and as she looked closer, she found it to be Auron's special katana. That bastard.

She picked up the blade and looked at it carefully, finding a slip of paper near the handle. A note from Lord Emotionless? She pulled the paper from the katana and unfolded it. Sure enough, in that perfect handwriting of his, was a little note addressed to her. There was something intriguing about the ink, as it seemed to glow in the darkness. Was there anything that man couldn't do? She sighed and scooted around to get comfortable before she began to read it.

_Good morning, Sunshine_

_You've probably realized by now that I have gone. This is not where I belong and it is not where you should be in the first place. I'm sure you have plenty of questions racing through your mind right now, and I shall try my best to answer them in this simple little letter. _

_This place you have found yourself in, it has no name, no location, no visible entrance nor escape. It exists within you, in the darkest regions of your heart and mind. You are the key to the entrance and the key to the exit, though you will have to learn this yourself. This place exists in every single one of us. It is a place haunted by darkness and secrets, a place we all try to hide away from the rest of the world. We enter here when we are most vulnerable and most confused. For only in the darkness, in the depths, in the shadows is where our answers can be found. Down, down where the secrets lie. Some people never make it out, but you are pure, Rikku. You will find the exit, and I will be waiting there for you. Do not fret, I can help you along the way because we all get lost sometimes. You may not know it, but you were the one that almost helped me escape my own darkness, my own secrets. It is the least I can do for you, Princess. _

_I have already set you on the right path. There is only one hint I can give you for the trials approaching. Listen to your heart and never doubt yourself. Though you may not see me, I will be there with you, your guardian spirit. And maybe, just maybe, if we do this right, there will be a surprise waiting for you when you wake up. Keep everything you learn here with you forever. This is not only a journey of self-discovery, it is also one that will benefit you for the rest of your life. _

_Always listen to your heart, Rikku. Always._

_Love,_

_Auron._

She folded up the note and stuffed it in her back pocket, lifting the katana up and shouldering it, the way he always used to. She was surprised at how light it was for being so big.

"Well, Rikku, ol' girl. Lets get this over with. We'll go down, down to where the secrets lie."


	3. Discoveries

**Author's Note:** Hooray! 3rd Chapter. I'm actually very proud of this one. If you haven't noticed, there are actuall a few stories going on here. Paine's internal conflict, A little bit of Gippalai (For the Kristenems P), and Rikku's ordeal. This is probably one of the more complicated stories I've written, but I like where it's going. Anyways, review! Oh, and be warned. Wee bit o' yaoi in this chappie. Gippalai. xD

* * *

"_I never meant for it to end this way."_

_She had made it to the bottom, down to where the secrets lie. Her journey had begun and she had found her guide, much quicker than expected. She had a pure heart, a sunny disposition, and a brightness that even the most grave secrets could never hope to darken. Though perhaps if she were to dwell within the darkness for too long, then maybe it might start to affect her, even beyond her wholesomeness. Only time will tell if she will make it out of the darkness and succeed in where the secrets lie._

_-_

"Yuna, get Baralai. We're going to need his help, though I doubt you'll be able to get him here without Gippal." Paine commanded as she draped Rikku's blankets over the girl, who was still out cold. After attacking her for what she had done to them, she had simply passed out. Yuna had freaked out the moment the girl stilled, thinking for some unbeknownst reason that they had killed the Al bhed. Paine managed to reassure her friend that her cousin was fine and that she had merely fallen unconscious due to her laughter. Paine did not begin to worry until after she had washed the clown make-up off and felt Rikku's forehead. The girl was burning up, her face flushing a vibrant shade of red. Paine bustled about, getting dressed before the two boys showed up and ushering Yuna (who was only half ready) out the door.

Rikku's condition was really starting to unnerve her. The girl had fallen ill before, but never like this. Paine was starting to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with the girl. Even though she rarely showed it, Rikku and Yuna meant the world to her. They were the only family she had. Rikku, with her extreme peppiness and goofiness and Yuna, sweet and kindhearted above all others. Even though sometimes they bugged her, as good families do, she would give her life for them. Luckily, Baralai was on his way. He would know what to do. He always did.

Paine breathed out a sigh of relief as she sat down on the couch next to the Al Bhed Princess, whose breaths were ragged and raspy. She was starting to become impatient, though patience never was one of her strong points. What was Yuna doing? It shouldn't have taken this long for her to bring the former Crimson Squad member here. It wasn't like they lived far apart. A small smile former on her face as a possible reason for the delay formed in her mind – and she wasn't far from the truth.

-

"Tuhd nacecd, Baralai, ed ec buehdmacc." That sinfully sweet voice ticked his neck as he turned away. Gippal had been surprising him for the past few mornings in ways he had never thought possible. And indeed, as much as he fought the restraints that bound his wrists and ankles to the bed, it was of no use. He remained quite immobile, even as to delectably soft lips teased the sensitive skin of his neck and those long, lovely, tan fingers traced intricate designs along his bare chest. A purr-like sound escaped his throat as those hands, those glorious hands, trailed lower and lower still, shooting heat through his veins. His lovers caress sending ripples of succulent electric pleasure throughout his body and then...

Knock, knock, knock! Interrupting their passionate act came the sound of knuckles on wood. Gippal released and exasperated groan while his wanton lover gazed on, an expression of need and annoyance on his face. Gippal was considering ignoring their visitor, at least until he heard the panicky voice of the high summoner.

"Baralai, Gippal! Open up. I need your help! Rikku's in trouble!" She shrieked, still beating on the door, rather viciously. Gippal sighed and busied himself with undoing the restraints that held Baralai to the bed.

"Hold on a moment, Yuna! We'll be there in a second!" Gippal shouted back as he hastily got dressed and left Baralai to calm down. Oh the perks of living with the Praetor of New Yevon. He closed the bedroom door behind him as he fled out towards the door, which Yuna was still beating on. He fumbled with the locks on the door and finally opening it, glad to be rid of the high summoners incessant hammering on it. "What's the problem?"

"Rikku just passed out and Paine told me to come get Baralai. She said he was good with all that white mage stuff. Even Paine seemed really worried about her and you know rare that is. Please, I really think this is more than what it looks like." Yuna rambled, looking obviously distraught. Her normally kempt locks were frazzled and sticking out in all directions and she seemed to still be in her pajamas. It was early, though he hadn't seen the clock yet so he wasn't going to judge her by the way she looked because he knew he probably didn't look much better.

"Alright, hold on. Baralai's still getting ready. I'll tell him to forget the details and that you need him right away, kay?" He suggested. Yuna nodded and bounced from foot to foot in the doorway, hoping that it wouldn't take too long. Gippal rushed through the rooms, his shorts almost falling off on the way, until he reached the bedroom He flung open the door and saw Baralai, in a pair of his-Gippal's- shorts and looking through his closet.

"'Lai-kun. Just grab your robe. Something's wrong with Cid's little girl and it's got Paine worried. You better hurry, you know that lady doesn't get all fretful unless something is REALLY wrong." Gippal said, fidgeting while leaning against the frame of the door. "You know, those look good on you." He purred from his vantage point, a goofy smile on his face while Baralai threw his robe on.

"Oh. C'mon Gippal. You are such a boy." His elder said while brushing past him, making sure to make contact with the Al Bhed's lithe frame. Gippal felt a rush from the contact and wanted to pin the man up against the wall and take advantage of him right then and there, despite what could possibly a life threatening situation for a girl he had grown up with. He shook the thoughts from his head as he trailed behind Baralai like an obedient little puppy dog.

"Baralai! Oh thank goodness. Hurry and come with me. I'll explain along the way!" She squealed, grabbing the Praetor by his wrist and dragging him out of their house, leaving Gippal to attend to the locks, and thus get left behind as Yuna beat a trail back towards Rikku and Paine.

-

Paine brushed the damp blue cloth along the girls fevered forehead, praying with all her might that Baralai would get there soon. She had seemed to worsen in a matter of minutes, from her flushed skin and ragged breathing to the occasional screams that raked through whatever dream she was in. Sometimes Rikku would stir and the warriors hopes would rise, though soon fall as she realized the movements were subconscious. This was quite unlike her to get so worked up over someone. She was just about to go and look for Yuna when she heard the door open and slam shut and the muddled sounds of many footsteps. If she'd have been in any other predicament, she probably would've laughed. Apparently Yuna had rushed them in the whole aspect of getting ready, and it was rather humourous.

"Yuna told me what happened. I'm still not too sure what could be wrong with her, I'll need to do a more thorough examination." Baralai said, breathlessly, as he sat beside Rikku and laid a palm to her forehead. Paine rose from the couch and tossed the wet rag into the sink. When she came back, she found Baralai checking the princesses pulse. The warrior stood next to Gippal, who seemed worried as well.

"We should start calling him Dr. Baralai." She joked in his ear, wanting to lighten the mood. The atmosphere had curiously darkened and Paine felt something rather uncomfortable weighing on her heart. Yuna offered a weak smile as she turned multicolored eyes upon her writhing cousin. Paine found it quite odd that each of them had a deeper attachment to the girl than she did and yet she still felt almost as worried, if not more, than they did. Rikku and Yuna were cousins, but that was the obvious connection. Rikku was also Yuna's guardian, and she tried her very hardest to save the high summoner from herself. Her efforts were not in vain, luckily, as they had defeated Yu Yevon and destroyed Sin once and for all. The two were so alike and at the same time, so different. Gippal and Rikku had grown up together in the sandy desert of Bikanel, had been a couple for a while, and then he left for the Crimson Squad. Paine was sure there were some silly childhood memories they were both holding on to. And Baralai, the one Rikku had always looked up to. He had become like a father to her following the defeat of Vegnagun, a person she always ran to in her times of need. And what was she, Paine, to Rikku? She had come to think of Rikku as a sister, but what did the princess think of her?

Perhaps she should stop bottling her emotions up. Perhaps she should be more open with the people closest to her. She didn't want to lose them before she could tell then how much they mean to her. She only hoped it wasn't to late for Rikku.

-

"Auron! Auron! Help me, I'm so scared, Auron!" She screamed, having long discarded his katana in the darkness as the horrific memories taunted her. She fell to her knees and cried at the top of her lungs for him, but there was no answer. She clutched at her hair and wove it around her fingers, trying to curl up into the smallest possible ball to escape the insanity surrounding her. Tears were pouring freely from her eyes as she shrieked and wailed and tried her best to keep her strength. It couldn't end this way. She wouldn't let it end like this! She didn't need Auron's help. So what, he promised to protect her and so what, he had left her when she needed him most. She could do this herself! She was Rikku! Princess of the Al Bhed, vanquisher of Sin! Cousin to High Summoner Yuna! She didn't need that bastard's help! With her newly found resolve, she stood back up defiantly, though fell back down again as she saw the shadow falling down from above "AURON!" She yelled one last time, her voice cracking. And as her vision went spiraling into darkness, _again_, she heard his voice.

"_Fight the darkness, Princess. Remember, I'll always be with you. Just look in your heart."_

Fight the darkness, she could do that, she would win! She closed her eyes and looked into her heart, as Auron had suggested. The tenderest memories came whirling back to her in a rush and the darkness faded. As she collapsed, sleep taking her far from this new reality, those sweet memories replayed in her mind like broken record.

_The first time she saw him smile, the first time she heard him laugh, their first embrace, his promise, the familiar and comforting sensation of his rough, calloused hands, the secret, their first kiss, and how he faded away, so graceful in the fiery sky. _

These were her memories, her secrets, her strength. She would fight the darkness with light, with her smiles, with him at her side. The malignant blackness would not prevail. She would destroy the darkness down where the secrets lie.


	4. Memories Forgotten

**Author's Note:** Yep. Here's chapter 4. I'm just shelling these things out. In this one you'll learn a little bit more about Rikku's past and yeah. I'm really starting to find it hard to find sentences to end this with. But eh, I like this story and it's keeping me busy, so it's all good. Yes, yes, I know Auron's a bit OOC, but hopefully in this chapter you'll see why I'm writing him like this. Anyways, enjoy, and again, much thanks to my lovely Kristenems.

* * *

"_I'm sorry, I never meant to . . . "_

_Almost. Almost. Perhaps she wasn't as strong as once thought. The shadow almost had her, but almost doesn't count. Almost doesn't matter. What did matter, however, was how easily she defeated the darkness . . . and how sudden. It was as if something just snapped within her, she could become a threat to the blackness. She could be victorious. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. If she could fight darkness, would she be affected by the secrets? Could her purity be tainted here, down where the secrets lie?_

_-_

Dreamless slumber faded as life was displayed in her delicate body once again. Eyelids lifted and she found herself in the exact same position she had been in when she had drifted off, and wow! The darkness was gone. Though everything was strangely monochromatic, like an old-fashioned black and white movie. She picked herself up from the cold colorless rock that had substituted as her bed. Swirled jade eyes swept across the scenery of the cavern, from the grayscale rocks and gaping mouth of the passageway that lead further into the darkness to the high, arching ceiling and a little slip of paper on the ground. Wait a second . . . a piece of paper? Another note from Auron? She bent down and lifted the paper, studying it.

Her name was printed neatly on the front in Auron's perfect handwriting, the K's overly exaggerated. A little smile formed on her lips as she looked at it. That man. There were no words on Spira to describe him. Not in Spiran nor Al Bhed. He was just Auron, Mr. Legendary Guardian with a steel exterior. But under that he was wonderful, spectacular, mind-blowing. Why had she forgotten all those memories? Why didn't she remember what an amazing person he was until now? Had she tucked those secrets and those memories deep inside to hide her pain and sadness at his loss? But then again, did she really, truly, honestly want to forget how hard she worked for that relationship, constantly picking away at his cold steel barrier until he finally let her in? Maybe he was here now because of the fact that this place, this alternate reality, was inside her and she had been keeping her sweetest memories of him locked up inside as well. She played with the note a moment before finally opening it, thinking back on the journey they had shared.

Rikku glanced down at the paper, a full-blown smile painting her face as a particularly tender moment came back to her. That night on the thunder plains when she'd been so afraid and he had taken her into his big strong arms. Alone in the night they stood like that, watching the rain and lightning fall. No words were exchanged, there was no need for them. The simple, innocent contact was all the reassurance she needed. After that night, things changed. He changed, at least around her, and it was bliss. If it hadn't been for Tidus, she would have forgotten her original reasons for becoming Yuna's guardian. She wanted to save Yuna and Auron was leading her to her death. That difference, that was the only barrier left between them. After the battle, the defeat of Yu Yevon, that barrier melted away at last when she learned his fate. She watched him walk, slowly, through the group and send his silent goodbyes. She had no idea how she held in the tears, how she managed to stay calm as she watched him fade. That bright red coat flapping in the breeze, that serious expression, and then, just like that, he was gone. That feeling that followed, that heartbreaking sadness, the feeling of emptiness, of having half your heart ripped away, that was what trapped those sweet, tender memories inside. She never mourned his loss properly, and maybe now, she needed to.

She fell back down, the note still open her hands, though she had not yet read it. All of her thoughts and questions had kept her distracted from the letter she held in her hands. She crossed her legs, rested her chin in her hands, set the letter on the ground and started to read it.

_So far so good, Rikku._

_I'd like to tell you not to worry. I'd like to be there with you in a way that you could see. There is no way I can do that as of now, but know that if you need me, I will be there. I will always be there, Princess, whether you see me or not. You must learn that your senses are not always right._

_The path lays before your feet and it is up to you to take it. You can continue on, into the shadows and into the darkness where things will only worsen, or you can stay where you are, a victim of nerves. I cannot choose for you. This is your decision, but know that the farther that you go, the more you succeed, there are things you will learn. You will come just that much closer to the gold at the end of the rainbow. _

_Do you remember what you said to me when we were stranded on Bikanel Island? When we were alone, huddled under that hollowed out machina, and you were crying your eyes out. _"Do I ever . . . " she mumbled before reading the rest. _I remember those words well, and I kept them with me all this time. "I can't change the world, Auron, I'm just a little girl no one will ever care about. Just a stupid Al Bhed that no one will listen to. I was born on the wrong side of the tracks. I'm not worth anyone's concern." Remember that? I was so frustrated with you then but I knew there was nothing I could say to you that would make you change your mind. You were always so stubborn. _"No more than you." She said and then wondered why the hell she was talking to an inanimate object. _You were never 'just' a girl to me, Rikku, and you'll sure as hell never be 'just' an Al Bhed. To me, you were a light. You were Rikku, princess of the Al Bhed. You are Rikku, and you are worth the concern of a million men._

_Never give up, Princess, never give up._

_Love,_

_Auron_

"But I don't want the concern of a million men, Auron. I want yours." She whispered as she felt a flood of tears build up. She wanted to fight this sadness, to end this stupid dream and wake up in her bed, remembering Auron as some cold-hearted meanie-poo with a serious case of Irritable Male Syndrome, not like this. And yet, this is who he was, whom he had become. This was the Auron she had fallen for, this was the Auron she had lost. She wanted to scream and cry and shout. She wanted to break something and disappear off the face of Spira entirely. She wanted the spinning, headache causing thoughts in her head to go away, she wanted to go home. Most of all, though, she wanted Auron. She wanted him to wrap those comforting arms around her and whisper to her that everything would be all right, that he would be there to protect her. She wanted to hide her face in that familiar red coat and float off to cloud nine. She wanted to feel the security of his embrace one last time, to lace her fingers with his and skip down a country lane without a worry or care at all. She wanted simplicity.

Auron was not a man of simplicity. He was one of the most complex people she had ever met, but she envied him for it. He always seemed so well put together, so sure of himself. She wondered if he was ever confused, if he ever suffered like she was now. The tears were falling freely now as she buried her face in her hands. Nothing seemed to make sense any more and all this confusion and fear was making her angry. And when she was angry, she would just cry harder. She pounded her fists on the cold hard rock until it hurt so bad she couldn't bring herself to do it again, and as she was just about to give up and fall face-first onto the ground, a benevolent warmth swallowed her up, just like Auron's hugs used to. She wanted to turn her head and see him there, but she knew that he wasn't there, this was just another of his ways of telling her that he was there.

"_But Rikku, you should know that I'm the one most concerned about you..."_

His rough voice whispered in reply to her and she couldn't help but the grin. Just those simple little words lifted her heart and spirits with such speed that she found it unbelievable. Her face was still wet from her tears, but she knew she was ready to go on now. Auron was right. Even if she couldn't see him, he would still be there. He would be tucked inside her heart when she needed him most. She stood back up and traced a path over to the passageway in which she had to take next. She drew in a deep breath before taking the first step.

"I know, Auron. I just gotta believe in myself." And in that moment, stepping out of the light and into the darkness and as she placed foot after foot on the floor of that stone corridor, she believed in herself with all her heart. She believed that with his support, with her own confidence, and with the bond they shared, she would triumph and she would get out of here... at least as long as she didn't have any more foolish breakdowns.

She'd win for Auron. She'd fight for him, down where the secrets lie.


	5. Realization

**Author's Note:** This one took a while! Why? No, not for any good reason. I was sick. I didn't feel like writing. Hooray. Anyways, without further ado, I present Chapter 5. Enjoy and once again, thanks to my dearest Kristenems.

* * *

"_Why do the good things end so soon?"_

_This guide she had found was becoming quite a troublemaker. He was much stronger than expected and so was the girl. Was it possible for the darkness to prevail over this alliance? These two were bonded together so strongly that it would be ridiculous to waste effort on trying to separate them. This was a kind of tie that had not been dealt with before... perhaps it was indestructible. Perhaps it was the only glue that could survive here, down where the secrets lie._

_-_

Dreary, heavy eyelids lifted from deep crimson pools, shifting around their surroundings. A yawn raked through her cramped body, causing her to stretch and her bones to pop. A groggy purr escaped her lungs as she sprawled across the whole width of her bed. She searched her dream-hazed mind for records of the night before. She brought her hands to her throbbing head and ran her fingers through her short-cropped silver locks that stuck out in all directions. Suddenly, she was greeted with fleeting remembrance. In her minds eye, she saw Rikku sprawled on the couch, mumbling nonsensical words and occasionally screaming.

Paine bolted upright in her bed and tore the sheets off her legs, stumbling off the mattress and careening down the hallway. She considered jumping down the stairs, but if Baralai and Gippal were asleep down there, she didn't want to wake them up. Instead, she hurried down them as fast as her sleepy legs would allow. At the foot of the stairs she looked around. Rikku was still on the couch, unconscious, but quiet. Gippal and Baralai were nowhere to be seen. She approached to couch and sat down beside the princess. In the pale morning light she could see the glisten of sweat on her forehead and the pinkish tint of her fevered skin. The warrior wiped away the sweat with her sleeve and searched for the girls hand.

Rikku's arms were stiff and yet oddly loose, moving as Paine dictated, but heavy. She cupped the Al Bhed's hand in her own, her skin extremely heated. With tender, heartened eyes, Paine looked at the girl, feeling a darkening sadness stir in her heart. This was Rikku, young and spunky, so full of life just a few hours ago. She was princess of the Al Bhed, cousin to high summoner Yuna, and tough as nails... sometimes. Paine breathed out a sigh and wondered if this whole situation was her fault, though guilt was only natural at a time like this.

Baralai had not found anything physically wrong with the girl, though he was extensive in his examination and trying many different remedies, even resorting to magic (which was something he didn't like to do) but there was no luck. Her condition remained unchanged. She was gone. The Praetor had told them what he had discovered with a heavy heart, though Paine refused to believe his words. Baralai was never a pessimistic person, though what he had said seemed exactly the opposite of what normally would come from his mouth.

"I've tried everything I could think of, but she is not responding to any of the treatments. This is not a physical illness. It's mental. She's doing this to herself, or so it seems. From everything she's told me prior to this, I cannot think of any reason why this would happen. Usually sicknesses of the mind are born from a tragic event, per say, the loss of someone held in high regards, near death experiences, severe trauma. But nothing that she's ever told me could be serious enough to cause this. Yuna, Paine, is there anything you know of that she kept inside? Gippal, I know you knew her very well back when you were children, is there anything that happened back then?" Questions. Always questions, but Paine had achieved the point of not caring anymore. She just wanted Rikku back, to smile and bring sunlight into the day. She was becoming a sap, which is exactly what she had tried all her life to prevent. It was Yuna who came through with a possible reason.

"Sir Auron..." Her voice was barely audible, especially over Paine's raging thoughts, though everyone's attention was diverted to Yuna. "Back when I was still on my pilgrimage, Auron and Rikku were my guardians. I knew both of them well, what was normal for them and what wasn't. But as we journeyed, I could see as they changed, around me and around each other. I don't think they realized that I knew about them. I think Lulu was the only other person that realized it. Rikku had always turned to Lulu for answers, so she might know more than I do. But I could tell what was happening between them. It was kind of a beauty and the beast deal. Auron was such a stubborn, introverted, rather emotionless man. He was always curt and clipped, but he changed once Rikku began to wear off on him. He became more... human if you will. Rikku, well we all know how she is. But back then, she was much more immature." Gippal snorted knowingly, which received a curious glance from Baralai and a weak smile from Yuna. "After trying her hardest to get Auron to open up, she changed as well. Some of his seriousness rubbed off on her. And the few times I saw them together... I just knew. Guess you can call it female intuition. When we beat Yu Yevon, and I performed the sending, he started to fade. But Rikku just stood there, she didn't make a fool of herself like I did with Tidus. She had an oddly reserved smile on her face, there was no emotion behind it. I think what they shared was beyond words, beyond any expression. Losing him must have been painful beyond tears and far past any breakdowns. Do you think that might be the cause, Baralai?"

Dreadful, disgusting silence followed. A silent understanding passed between all of them. Paine could feel tears of pity for Rikku pool in her eyes, though she held them back. What would they say if she - Paine - the female version of Sir Auron were to cry?

"So she had a thing for Auron, hmm? She always did like older men." Gippal said, rather nonchalantly as he looked at Rikku's writhing figure. His comment was rather out of context, considering what they were going though, though Paine figured it was just his way of dealing with what was happening.

"Jealous?" Baralai quizzed, a taunting smile on his face. She found it amazing that they could joke and laugh at a time like this when Rikku needed them most. Gippal placed a hand on his hip and shifted his weight to one leg, leaning towards the Praetor.

"Not at all. I have you, my dear." He said with a very Gippal-like grin on his face. Paine wanted to smack them for being boys, but knew that their service may very well come in handy in the next few days.

"Baralai, enough goofing." She scolded. "So, if losing Auron is the source of Rikku's dementia, is there anything we can do for her now? Will she ever wake up?" Paine asked, feeling the slight bit of lightheartedness fade from the room. Baralai's smirk faded as he turned to her.

"I don't know, Paine. I've never seen something quite as odd as this. I would like to tell you all that she will come to in just a few days and everything will be fine, but I don't want to raise your hopes falsely. All we can do is wait and help her along the way. Just know that she may take a while to wake up, if not ever." He said, broken. She'd never seen Baralai sad like this before, Rikku must've been closer to him that she had thought.

The darkness was perpetual, tempestuous, never-ending, but she kept trudging on. She forced herself to put one foot in front of the other, even though she couldn't see a thing. She had no idea where this path lead to, nor what was lurking in the shadows behind her. She not only had to get out of this prison for Auron, but for Yuna and Paine too. She wondered if they were worried about her. Yuna definitely was, but then again, Yuna worried pretty much about everything. Paine.. God who knows when it comes to that woman. She was just like Auron, well, when she first met him. Paine was a recluse, strong and silent, and occasionally moody. Pretty much the opposite of herself, yet she admired Paine's strength and composure.

Taking in a few deep breaths, she brought back the memories of Auron. That was how she had fought off the darkness before and she was hoping that it would work right now. These memories were her weapons here, even though it was much more reassuring to carry Auron's katana. She had debated going back and looking for it, just for the sake of having it at her disposal, though she didn't want to sacrifice the distance she had gained for a silly blade. Sir Auron would be there with her, she just had to smile and think of him. He'd protect her, just like always. He'd be there, her guardian this time. Not Yuna's, hers. Rikku's. A knight. Yeah! She was a princess, and Auron was her knight in shining armor, only Auron didn't wear armor and she didn't live the cliched life of a princess.

"Well, Auron, this tunnel seems like it's gunna go on forever, wanna help me out with these shadows?" She said, more to herself than to him. She closed her eyes, though it was rather pointless as she couldn't see anything anyways, and thought back on the time they had shared together. She thought back to the Calm Lands and the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth. She remembered their little adventure down there and felt a smile tug at her lips.

Rikku had been awed and yet scared of the cavern. It was dark and spooky, but beautiful at the same time. Normally, she would've skipped ahead of the pack, but something told her that this wasn't the kind of place to be skipping, or even to smile. Nope, not here. So she let everyone pass her by, well... not _everyone_, so that she would be closest to the exit in case she needed to make a run for it. Auron must've been able to detect her fear, because he hung in the back with her and let Tidus run ahead like a retard. Honestly, she hadn't planned on clinging onto him like a scared little girl, but it's funny how things never work out the way you plan. As she was walking by one of the vents that was extricating that odd purple smoke, it make a very menacing growling noise and erupted in a big cloud. With a yelp that no one seemed to hear, except maybe Auron, she ran into his side and grabbed onto his hand with all her strength. He said nothing, merely smiled and shook his head at her, lacing his fingers with her own. They made their own, slow way through the cave and with each step, she felt her prior fear fade away. Fiends beware! She had Sir Auron, Legendary Guardian, to protect her.

And he was here too, protecting her down where the secrets lie.


	6. Reunited

**Author's Note: **Hooray! Chapter 6. There's nothing I like better than spending my snow days writing. I like this chapter, even though it's all oatmealish(Inside Joke). Anyways, you might learn something quite interesting in this chapter that will play out in the ones to follow. It was Kristen's idea, so I dedicate this chapter to her. I love you, Kristenems!

* * *

"_I won't ever forget..."_

_Curses and other such explicit language. Try as they might to succeed, every attempt is shot down by this girl. She is simply too much to handle. Everything thrown at her was useless, but there was still one option left. They weren't completely spent. This time, this way, success would be born._

Having been following this path for who knows how long, Rikku was beginning to get tired. On this little trek she had counted her footsteps from the agonizing boredom that was brought forth. What she wouldn't give just for someone to be there now. Even Gippal in all his stuck-up fag-boy glory would have been a nice addition to the silence. She could beat up on him and he wouldn't even know, because it's impossible to see. Then she could laugh menacingly and torment him for all the things he did to her back when they were kids. He was such an ass. Plain and simple. And how odd it is that the ass is exactly where he takes it, from Baralai. She giggled at her own thoughts and began to wonder how Baralai puts up with the egotistical brat on a daily basis. She had no problem with Baralai, however, as he had never done anything to her. In fact, 'Lai was a good buddy of hers and she knew she could trust him with her problems. Gippal, on the other hand, just needed to be smacked. Hard. By Paine, 'cause she's a lot stronger than Rikku.

Distracted by the humorous images of Paine beating the snot out of Gippal, she didn't realize that in the pitch black tunnel, there was an even darker shape coming closer with every step she took. She was on the verge of laughing out loud as a picture of Gippal being attacked by chocobo's and Clasko formed in her head. The glee spilled over and she laughed for the first time in what seemed like eons. Even in all this darkness and failure of her retentiveness of all the bad memories, she really, truly laughed. The kind of laughter that lights up eyes and strains your lungs for oxygen. Then she ran right smack into a boulder, and groaned in pain.

"Ow, dammit. Who put a boulder here!" She complained, kicking at it, but only hurting her foot. She laid her hand on the cold rock and tried to find a way around it, though she soon found that it blocked the entire passageway. "Oh c'mon! I'm just a girl, and you expect me to move this overgrown pebble? Not fair at all! That's hitting below the belt!" She shouted, at no one in particular, she just really felt like complaining. It felt so good to get all this pent up frustration out, that she figured that she could groan and whine about the other things that were annoying her.

"And what about this stupid darkness, I mean, have you ever hear of electricity? Fire? I don't mind nighttime, but it's supposed to only last 12 frickin' hours! Not all the frickin' time! And what the hell is wrong with place? What happened to color? You know, pigment, hue, yellow, orange? Even Paine is more colorful than this place. And dammit, I'm tired of being alone! This is so outrageously boring, there's not even music to listen to! I'm sure you don't want ME to sing, but I will if this doesn't get a little more interesting. Is anyone even here, am I the only living, breathing creature in this hell-hole? HELLO! God dammit, somebody talk to me!" Oh yeah, that felt way too good to be real. She kicked the boulder again just for the heck of it and sat down, leaning her back against its cold surface.

What was she going to do now? She was up 'chocolate creek without a popsicle stick' and about to just go over the edge. She breathed out a sigh and leaned her head back, shutting her eyes tightly. Now that she thought about it, she was rather tired and the muscles in her legs were screaming from all the boring walking she had just done. Her foot was throbbing from where she kicked the boulder and her back hurt from having nowhere proper to sit or lay. This sucked. Royally, beyond all else sucked. In fact, it sucked so much that she wanted to scream, and scream she did.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" It felt good too. Real good. Better than sex good. But hey, she was only 18, she wouldn't know if that was for real. Nope, she was innocent. As innocent as she could be, however. It was a good expression though. She just kept on screaming until her throat hurt and she was too tired to continue. Once she was finished with her screaming, she slumped over on the cold cavern floor and curled up into a ball. Sleep might be a good option considering she would need a helluva lot of strength to move that stupid boulder, though she might have to climb up it or actually use her head for something other than picturing Gippal getting the bejeezus beat out of him, no matter how funny it was.

Then again, what if there were things in the darkness, just waiting for her to lose her guard and then eat her up like a twinkie. It probably didn't help any that she had just been shouting wildly into the air and screaming with all her might as if to say "Hey, all you vicious, Rikku-eating beasties out there! Come and get me, I'm cold and tired and don't have anything to arm myself with! Free meal! I taste really good too, kind of like chicken, but better!" Great, just when she was spent, bored, and ready to drift into a wonderful Auron-filled dreamland, the paranoia just had to show up and dance in front of her face, a reminder that the darkness was filled with icky hungry creatures. Peachy. Just peachy.

So instead of sleeping, she just lay there with open eyes, staring out into the tunnel and wondering if every flicker or flinch her imagination created was going to come eat her. Not very restful, but at least she was a slight bit comfortable. She moaned and whined and complained in her head for a little while, wishing that Auron could show up. And then she got an idea, remembering something he had told her. Even if she couldn't see him, he said he'd always be there. So she had never been alone at all this whole time. Though, it was quite easy to forget something like that when you're ranting. She grinned goofily and snuggled up against the boulder.

"Hey, Auron. Wee. This feels weird. I'm talking to you, but since I can't see you I feel like I'm talking to myself. I guess it's no better than when I was shouting at the rock..." She said, experimentally, trying to hold back the giggles at how silly she felt, talking to herself like this. Though she wasn't too surprised when she got an answer.

"_No, I guess not, Princess. By the way, do you feel better after that rather spontaneous outburst?"_

His voice seem to ooze from the walls of the cave and it kinda creeped her out and relaxed her at the same time. "Actually, I do. I guess I was so frustrated that it found it's own way out. Speaking of which, how the hell am I supposed to get pass this boulder? It's not like I'm strong enough to move it."

"_Your answers will come in time, Rikku. You may be surprised at how they are achieved, but keep an open mind. Do not let fear dictate your actions, because there is no need for fear. I will recommend that you pay close attention to your surroundings."_

"So um, you're telling me that there really are big mean Rikku-eating beasties out there?" Maybe her paranoia was justified then, and maybe she should stop resting and find some way out of here, and quick.

"_No, no, dearest. That's not what I'm saying. And you can rest assured that if there were any 'Rikku-eating beasties' out there, they'd have eaten you by now. What I'm saying will make sense when the time comes, just make sure you don't miss it."_

She smiled uncontrollably, wishing he could be here so she could give him a big, squishy hug. "Auron?"

"_Yes, princess?"_

"I'm glad you're here with me, even though I can't see you." She said, feeling inexplicably enlightened, though wishing with all her heart that he could be here physically.

"_I promised you a long time ago that I would always be there for you. I always keep my promises."_

Following that, she felt as if she was flying, leaving behind the cold hard ground in favor for a bed of clouds. It did not take long, however, for her to find out she really was flying away. Though she felt more like a plastic bag caught in an updraft than a bird at flight. Since she had always been a little afraid of heights (even if she never mentioned it), she shrieked. "Auron? Is this supposed to happen?" She called out, hoping that it was.

"_No! Shit, this can't be happening. Hold on, Rikku! Fight it!"_

She tried her hardest to fight the updraft, but instead of getting closer to the ground, which she was beginning to miss despite its lack of heat and uncomfortableness, she merely remained stationary, not going up and not going down. Sort of like floating. When she looked down, she noticed that the darkness had begun to fade and she saw a very familiar outline standing there. Auron. But how?

"Rikku! Try harder!" He shouted up to her, his voice filled with concern as he reached a hand towards her. "Don't wake up, now. You have to keep fighting! It's the only way..." He trailed off and she could sense an underlying tone of sadness in his voice. So she fought the wind, flailing her limbs and acting purely on the desire to be with him. She struggled until she could grasp his hand, using both of her hands as he gripped onto his arm with all her strength. He pulled her down and she could feel the wind die, she had won, they had won, and most of all, Auron was standing right there.

She leapt into his arms and buried her face in his crimson coat, a smile painting her lips and tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. She held onto him, afraid that if she were to let go then he would fade again, she never wanted to be without him again. In his arms, his embrace, she felt whole again, like everything is perfect. She was surprised everything didn't get all bright and sunny and that they weren't serenaded by songbirds because that's how she felt with him. It was euphoria. Here, with the Legendary Guardian Sir Auron to hold and kiss and love she felt like she could drown in her own happiness. Neither of them said a word, they simply clung to each other like their lives depended on it. She bit her lip as she leaned back in his arms, glancing up at his face, those foolish sunglasses and his silver-streaked hair. He brushed his rough and calloused fingertips against her cheek, flicking away the tears that fell from her swirled jade eyes and smiled that handsome Sir Auron smile, which made her heart grow wings. And as she stood up on her tiptoes to kiss the lips she had once forgotten about, she knew with every fiber of her being that this was the man she was meant to be with for the rest of her life. This was the man of her dreams, the only one for her.

It's just a shame that he's dead...

Or is he?


	7. Admittance

**A/N: **This would've been up sooner.. but. I ehh.. had some.. last minute assignments. I kind've put them off until the day before. Teehee. Life is good. This story might be postponed, as I have another idea brewing in my brain cavity, and I'm not too sure where else to steer this. Any and all ideas would be helpful, darlings!

* * *

"_Is this love_?" 

_So this was defeat. It left a burning, bitter aftertaste, a reminder of failure. Never before had the scars of loss tainted the darkness until now. There was naught left but for her to continue on this journey. What would be the point of throwing anything else at this girl? It would not affect her, nor maim her being. Her purity, her strengths would lead her to victory and there was no way to stop her, they had exhausted all their options.

* * *

_

Yuna breathed out an exasperated sigh as she sat on her bed, dangling her legs over the side of the mattress. Even though Tidus sat beside her, trying to settle her nerves, she didn't feel quite like herself. These days without Rikku had taken a toll on her, she wasn't used to being without her cousins peppy voice or the occasional crash of the girl falling down stairs or even watching her trip over the smallest things. Rikku was not known for her grace, as it was oddly equivalent to that of a drunk hippopotamus.

"Wow. You must be really concerned, Yuna." Tidus commented as he placed his arm around her shoulders. She allowed the contact, but did not move from her perch, nor take her multicolored eyes away from her feet. She said not a word, but nodded her head to let the blitzer know that she was listening. "C'mon. You know Rikku will pull through this. She's a tough girl. She was with us when we fought Sin and when you guys destroyed that Vegna... whatever."

She knew he was only trying to cheer her up, but at a time like this she didn't want to be cheerful - not without Rikku to be there smiling too. Yuna was grateful for his efforts, even if she did nothing to show it. She nodded again, having no clue about what he had just said. All she wanted right now was solitude. She found it odd that after trying so hard to bring him back that now she just wanted to be left alone. She did not act on that desire, but fell back on her pillows and closed her eyes.

"Hmm. I still can't believe the whole Rikku and Auron deal. That's just: Ew! I mean, Auron's all stiff and stuff. I didn't even know he was capable of emotion. He's like a gazillion years older than her. Not to mention he's all... dead." Tidus mused, though Yuna saw it more as rambling. She smiled in spite of everything, feeling the happiness of just being with him return.

"Love is blind." She said in reply, pushing him with her foot. He grinned as he grabbed her ankle and tickled her toes. She erupted in giggles and kicked him with her other foot, hard enough to knock him over and almost off the bed. She smiled wide as she watched him regain his composure, stretching out on the bed and taking as much room as she could in the meantime. He shook his head at her, a fondness alight in his sky-blue eyes. She playfully stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hey, don't stick that out at me unless you intend to use it!" He said, his face contorted into a grin while he waved a finger at her.

"Pervert!" She squealed, kicking him again, this time knocking him completely off the mattress. She laughed aloud as she heard him thud onto the floor. Yuna sat up and leaned over the side of the bed, looking down at him while he lay sprawled on the floor. His face was still painted with that goofy grin and his head rested on his arms, which he had crossed behind him. "Whatcha doin' down there, mister?" She asked, nonchalantly, resting her chin in her hands.

"Admiring the view." He said, that foolish, goofy grin never leaving his expression. She gave him an appraising glance, though the slightest hints of a smile tugged at her lips. Without warning, he sat up, took hold of her arms and yanked her right off the bed. She just so happened to land on top of him and he banded his arms around her waist.

"Butthead." She commented, her voice distorted from giggles. Finally, after all the countless hours of worry and stress, she felt a calm settle her jumpy nerves and tranquillize her restless mind. She inhaled deeply, lids falling over her eyes as she rested her head on his chest. She thought that maybe she should try to get a little rest, seeing as she hadn't sleep since Rikku had fallen unconscious.

"Roommate coming up. Please halt all icky, mushy, lovey crap." She started, hearing Paine's voice. She opened her eyes and looked at Tidus, who reluctantly let her go. She climbed off of him and climbed back up on her bed, though she left him laying there. Of course, Paine was always disgusted at even the littlest bit of affection, no matter how innocent, which led Yuna to wonder... jealousy?

The warrior ascended the stairs and crossed the room, tossing a fake smile to Yuna and purposely stepping on Tidus, who, in turn, grabbed her leg and caused her to trip. Those two always had to have a one-up on the other. Paine, after lifting herself from the floor, grabbed a pillow from her bed and threw it with all her strength at Tidus. Yuna watched as the boy struggled to remove the pillow from his face. He was never a very smart person. His intelligence was about as equal to a rabid, drunk cow. Though she loved him anyway.

Yuna turned to Paine, and with a bemused smile on her face, asked "What's up?" Thinking that the only reason her roommate would come up to their bedroom was to bug Tidus or ask her a question. Paine shifted her weight to one leg, observing while Yuna finally took the pillow off of her worthless fiancé.

"It really isn't much, I just think that you should go check on Rikku." Paine replied, feeling uneasy as her roommates undivided attention was turned towards her. Just saying the girls name put a damper on the slight bit of happiness that had come from bugging Tidus. Yuna tilted her head, reading the change in emotion on Paine's face like a book. She climbed off the bed, careful not to step on Tidus, and turned to the warrior.

"Is she okay?" The high summoner asked, worry and concern tainting her voice. Tidus, too, arose from the floor and stretched, his bones cracking in a way that sent a shudder down Yuna's spine. She never did like that sound.

"Same as usual, though she was actually talking, making sense. Her eyes were fluttering too, I thought she was going to wake up for a moment. No luck, though." Paine explained, following Yuna down the stairs and into the living room where Rikku lay, still unconscious, on the couch. Tidus, seeing Gippal and Baralai engaged in some argument of sorts, gleefully trotted over to join in. The warrior shook her head at him, turning back to Yuna who had sat down on the couch next to Rikku. Paine favoured a spot on the floor.

"What was she saying?" She inquired, placing her palm on the girl's forehead and looking down at the warrior, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. Yuna could detect no difference with the girl and supposed it was only a fleeting moment that of which Paine had talked about.

"She was whispering Auron's name and some other things that didn't make much sense. Something about 'Rikku-eating beasties' and saying she was glad that he was there. It was really odd." She answered, leaning her back against the couch and stretching out her legs.

"She must be dreaming about him, then. Poor girl, she'll be heartbroken if she wakes up. All over again."

"_If_ she wakes up." Paine commented without thinking.

"Hey! Don't talk like that! We need to stay optimistic for her sake. I know you two never got along really well, but you should at least act like you care." Yuna ranted, which was something rather out of the ordinary. She wasn't one to just explode and Paine felt bad about what she had said. Hadn't she already had this debate with herself?

"I'm sorry, Yuna. It just came out. Really, I do care. I mean, even if Rikku and I never seemed to get along, I do care about her. After all we've been through together, do you really think I couldn't worry about her? She's become like a sister to me, as have you." She said, defensively at first, though it quickly faded.

"Really! Aww!" Yuna oozed, sliding off the couch and giving Paine a hug, which the warrior fought off.

"No fucking way!Too much affection. Don't touch me and we'll be fine." She grinned, having rolled away from Yuna, who now sat on her knees, pouting. Paine paid no heed to this, merely turned her head away. "Blah. Why did I have to say anything in the first place?"

* * *

_C'mon Rikku. Please wake up..._


End file.
